又一次。

为什么我永远不是唯一？

为什么我总是不是那个她？

这次我真的有尝试，事实证明这些努力没有用。

对
我
公
平
吗
？

这心痛的感觉很像越来越熟悉了。

你
到
底
在
哪
里
？

I can't remember crying so hard. U idiot old woman, u have no right to say those things to me when i really did my job. And u backstabber. I WILL REMEMBER WHAT U ALL DID TO ME. I BELIEVE IN KARMA. I DO. ONE DAY ALL THESE WILL GET BACK TO U GUYS. NOT NOW, BUT ONE FINE DAY.

Cant seem to focus this semester, looking forward to my break. So many things happened since I came back from Europe and I dun know where to start?

Came back from Europe and finally had the courage to sign up for dance classes. Have been thinking about it for a long time and finally signed up for it. At least now, every week I have something to look forward to and no feel so empty and aimless in life? Not at all good at dancing yet but I really hope by next year, I look like a dancer. Hmm...

Working concurrently now since I need to pay for my dance fees. ): Really don't like my work. The staff aren't nice and the manager dislikes me I feel. Every single thing I do seem to be at fault. ):):): Why I so suay. Counting down to the end of my contract already. Really really hope things will get better and people will become nicer. Sigh...

This semester, feeling lonely as usual? It has been 3 years since I entered university. I still cant get used to the fact that you are not the most important person to your friend. Like, how to say, their boyfriends, their secondary school friends are always placed of greater importance that you. That feeling, u cant help but feel sad for yourself because you dont have that most person that place you at the greatest importance. When I feel sad, when I feel happy, when I feel empty, when I feel lonely, who do I find, who do I go to? Had lunch with 2 couples today, one just showed intimate moves in front of us. What is this? Has anyone ever considered my feelings? U want to call ur boyfriend out for lunch, never ask me? I have to just accept it and feel like a lightbulb? That i shouldnt be having lunch with u?

Next semester, most of my friends will be gone for exchange. Then it would be worse. Zen...me...ban...):

I hate growing up.

These few days I feel super lonely and sensitive again. People around me seems to unintensionly show me how lonely I am. I always press the only button on my iphone, secretly wishing that I have a message notification from facebook or a wats app message for me only and not a group chat one. I don't want to discuss about work, I want someone to talk to me, just someone who wants to chat with me. I feel so lonely and unwanted when my friends' boyfriends approach them and then start to give the soft glances to their partners. I can see those eyes suddenly changing from the hard stares to those glances that are so soft.

I want someone whom I can disturb as and when I want to and know that someone is there for me every single moment. Someone who is only for me. I am so so so upset with myself. I seriously don't know what is wrong with me. I am so tired, so depressed and so afraid. Who can help me? Why am I the one having to face this? :(((((((((((( May this feeling go away soon.

And it really really hurts when you try so hard to approach someone and then realise that that person doesn't care at all and don't want to move forward. You know what I want is to just know more about you and become a friend instead of just a senior? If everything happens for a reason, then why do I have to know your existence and yet can't move on and become friends with you? Why are you not approaching me to ask me about your exchange when you said you will ask me about it? Why are you not doing these stuff when I took the initiative to talk to you before? A girl talking to you and yet you put a blind eye to it, you know how hurtful this is?

I just want my dream to come true. Why isn't it happening? I am afraid of the future. Who can save me?

Who are you to say those words to me? Why do you want to make me feel so unwanted, so pathetic? Why do you make me feel that I am such a failure? Its not my fault to look like this and my friends have always told me that one day the right guy will appear, that you will have the "feeling" that he is the one when you meet him one day. However, the words that you said to me today were so mean, I thought that you were a nice person after we interacted for a while, but no, my first impression was right, you are indeed mean. From today onwards, you shall see the change of my attitude towards you. I really dislike you now. You are in the worst position to say that I am fierce. Yes, I am very petty, whatever.

Jiayou, you can do this.

Why I don't want to go for farewell party? Because I know I won't be happy if I go. Why go and make myself unhappy? Why ruin a good and happy day?