The past 9 days have been really awesome. Having that someone there constantly every 2 hours, making you laugh with stupid comments and telling you that you are pretty and cute, making you feel like you are really a worthy person. It has been so good. Smiling at the phone and all. Its amazing how a text can make you smile. And a bad reply can affect your mood. But, I guess we all need to go offline. What is the point of chatting online but not being able to interact in real life? I mean, I really don't get the point. It gets tiring. Tiring psychologically and mentally. I need to think of a reply that will keep the conversation going when he doesn't end with a question. And when I end the conversation with a question, I was afraid that he wouldn't reply. It has come to a point where I feel I am reliant on him, keep wanting to know what his reply is and it is really bad because I feel that his replies or no replies can actually affect my mood. I don't want another Z to happen in my life anymore and so this time I decided to go forward to say hi. And the move was really bad which made me decide to end it today. I can't deny that it really hurts, because it really does. Imagine texting the same person for the past 9 days. The sudden loss, ouch. But, I guess its good that both of us return back to reality now. What is the point of dragging when both of us aren't sure.

Its just that I finally, after so long, became such a happy person. I was so satisfied with my life now. I have dance, I get to perform on stage, I am such a outgoing and happy person who lives in the moment. Why does he have to appear in my life right now when I am at my happiest? I CANNOT LET THIS INCIDENT AFFECT ME. NO, I REFUSE. The deadline is this weekend and then I will delete the chat and move on and return back to that happy, satisfied S. The right one will come by somehow. If he wants to know more about me and feels the same loss, he will come by and look for me again.

Now that I think back, it was me who started this whole thing. He didn't even save my number at that point. I started the whole conversation and he was just being nice to continue. Maybe, like what my dance instructor said, he was just trying to send a reply as he is being nice.

Be happy that it happened and not sad that it is over. At least I can tell myself that I am attractive enough for someone to sustain a conversation with me for the past 9 days! Jiayou S, remember, focus on what you already have and not what you don't. I truly believe in fate. Fate will definitely bring the guy I deserve and who deserves me into my life. Definitely will.

At least now, I don't have to check my phone constantly, paranoid over a reply or no reply, thinking why he takes at least 2 hours, thinking why he says certain stuff, imagining stuff that might never happen, thinking of what to reply him so that the conversation won't end, waking up in the middle of the night to find myself checking the phone for a reply. All these ended. My life is back. My life that has just started to be colourful and happy is back. Now back to just study, dance, friends and family. For now, I don't want to think about what might happen and wait for him to re-start a conversation with me again. I will just be happy and glad that I made a new guy friend! Study, Dance, Friends, Family. Live the moment. Happiness is a choice. (: