I can't remember crying so hard. U idiot old woman, u have no right to say those things to me when i really did my job. And u backstabber. I WILL REMEMBER WHAT U ALL DID TO ME. I BELIEVE IN KARMA. I DO. ONE DAY ALL THESE WILL GET BACK TO U GUYS. NOT NOW, BUT ONE FINE DAY.

Cant seem to focus this semester, looking forward to my break. So many things happened since I came back from Europe and I dun know where to start?

Came back from Europe and finally had the courage to sign up for dance classes. Have been thinking about it for a long time and finally signed up for it. At least now, every week I have something to look forward to and no feel so empty and aimless in life? Not at all good at dancing yet but I really hope by next year, I look like a dancer. Hmm...

Working concurrently now since I need to pay for my dance fees. ): Really don't like my work. The staff aren't nice and the manager dislikes me I feel. Every single thing I do seem to be at fault. ):):): Why I so suay. Counting down to the end of my contract already. Really really hope things will get better and people will become nicer. Sigh...

This semester, feeling lonely as usual? It has been 3 years since I entered university. I still cant get used to the fact that you are not the most important person to your friend. Like, how to say, their boyfriends, their secondary school friends are always placed of greater importance that you. That feeling, u cant help but feel sad for yourself because you dont have that most person that place you at the greatest importance. When I feel sad, when I feel happy, when I feel empty, when I feel lonely, who do I find, who do I go to? Had lunch with 2 couples today, one just showed intimate moves in front of us. What is this? Has anyone ever considered my feelings? U want to call ur boyfriend out for lunch, never ask me? I have to just accept it and feel like a lightbulb? That i shouldnt be having lunch with u?

Next semester, most of my friends will be gone for exchange. Then it would be worse. Zen...me...ban...):

I hate growing up.

These few days I feel super lonely and sensitive again. People around me seems to unintensionly show me how lonely I am. I always press the only button on my iphone, secretly wishing that I have a message notification from facebook or a wats app message for me only and not a group chat one. I don't want to discuss about work, I want someone to talk to me, just someone who wants to chat with me. I feel so lonely and unwanted when my friends' boyfriends approach them and then start to give the soft glances to their partners. I can see those eyes suddenly changing from the hard stares to those glances that are so soft.

I want someone whom I can disturb as and when I want to and know that someone is there for me every single moment. Someone who is only for me. I am so so so upset with myself. I seriously don't know what is wrong with me. I am so tired, so depressed and so afraid. Who can help me? Why am I the one having to face this? :(((((((((((( May this feeling go away soon.

And it really really hurts when you try so hard to approach someone and then realise that that person doesn't care at all and don't want to move forward. You know what I want is to just know more about you and become a friend instead of just a senior? If everything happens for a reason, then why do I have to know your existence and yet can't move on and become friends with you? Why are you not approaching me to ask me about your exchange when you said you will ask me about it? Why are you not doing these stuff when I took the initiative to talk to you before? A girl talking to you and yet you put a blind eye to it, you know how hurtful this is?

I just want my dream to come true. Why isn't it happening? I am afraid of the future. Who can save me?

Who are you to say those words to me? Why do you want to make me feel so unwanted, so pathetic? Why do you make me feel that I am such a failure? Its not my fault to look like this and my friends have always told me that one day the right guy will appear, that you will have the "feeling" that he is the one when you meet him one day. However, the words that you said to me today were so mean, I thought that you were a nice person after we interacted for a while, but no, my first impression was right, you are indeed mean. From today onwards, you shall see the change of my attitude towards you. I really dislike you now. You are in the worst position to say that I am fierce. Yes, I am very petty, whatever.

Jiayou, you can do this.

Why I don't want to go for farewell party? Because I know I won't be happy if I go. Why go and make myself unhappy? Why ruin a good and happy day?

Miss home.

I want to fall in love.

Why do I feel that the whole world doesn't understand me?

I am crying terribly now, but I don't know who to talk to.

You know what I hate most in this world now? Money.

I must earn lots of them in the future, so that I don't have to be like this ever again,

I wonder, whether going Europe is the right choice. And I hate myself thinking this way.

Before I forgot about how much fun and laughter I had during my BKK trip, I guess it is mandatory that I write all of these down!

Day 1: Delayed train flight
Our plane was suppose to depart at 5.35pm and arrive at bangkok at 6.55pm. It was already considered late and we wouldn't be able to do much on the first day already. However, the train was delayed that day. Reason? The emergency door was spoilt. There was like a big commotion at the boarding area because the staff seem inexperienced and don't know how to handle the situation. We just left our contact number and went for dinner at Macs. We were supposed to disembarked the plane and left at only 8pm. By the time we arrived at the airport, bought the sim cards, settled down at the hotel, it was already 10 plus. It really kind of dampened our mood. So for the first day, we only went to some place near our hotel, Centerpoint Pratunum to have supper. We had chicken rice that night which was okay. But my first impression of Bankgkok is really polite and friendly people. Everywhere we go, the staff are so friendly and have excellent service. So this is our first day. Wanted to go clubbing with D and N but then, I was again afraid at the last moment. Just when can I have the courage?! Argh, but anyway, they didn't get to go into the club too as N was considered to be underage since he is born in december. End of day 1 and I was super excited about the second day!

Day 2: Chatuchak Market, Dalat Rot Fai, Failed Siam market
We had breakfast at this place which I have no idea what the place is but it was quite nice. And I love the iced tea in bangkok! Its sweet milk tea, so nice. HAHA. Then off to our first shopping stop, Chatuchak Market! The train was somewhat like Singapore's mrt and the moment we take out our phones to take photo, the whole train looked at us. But whatever, tourists are like this. HAHA. Chatuchak was super super hot! But I had a great time shopping! The things are sold at wholesale price. Warning: Don't buy things out of impulse! I bought a T-shirt that I totally regret but oh well, it is still cheaper than Singapore, so...HAHA. The coconut ice-cream was so delicious! Then went to Delat Rot Fai, which I think is a new hangout place for youngster. However, I don't find it a nice place to shop, I only bought a pencil box there. HAHA. Then, since it was the last night that we will be BKK, I didn't want to go back to the hotel. Some of my friends are tired and wanted to go back but I don't want so we went to siam market. NA LI ZHI DAO. It rained when we went to siam market. SIGH...then they gossiped about me behind my back though I heard it. I was a bit unhappy. Went back to the hotel and had some form of HTHT talk with my roomie because I think she felt guilty for saying those mean things. Ya, so this was the second day!

Day 3: Platinum Mall
So many of my friends had told me about this wonderful heaven for shopping. I was so excited for this place. For people who are going bangkok, I would recommend going to platinum mall first because I feel that the things sold there are nicer and of better quality. I wasn't left with much money when I went there and couldn't buy alot of stuff that I liked! But the dresses I bought there were very cute! Love them! Had Shibuya toast with ice-cream at after you cafe at siam paragon. IT WAS DELICIOUS. I swear I felt that I was in heaven when I had the first mouth. I wasn't expecting too much, perhaps just some normal toast with ice-cream. But I was so wrong! The toast had butter after taste, and topping it with ice-cream just well-packaged the whole dessert. I am definitely visiting this place again if I were to visit BKK again! After that went back to the hotel to check out and then board the plane to go back to Singapore.

After thoughts:
I couldn't explain how upset I was when I needed to come back to Singapore. 3 days was definitely too short. I would definitely go there for 5 days the next time I visit the place. Perhaps when I go out to work next time, I would allocate $500 for travelling to BKK every year. It was not just the shopping, but the people there. They were all so friendly and I feel that I am rich there. LOL.

I really wanted to make friends with N during the trip. But well, I think 3 days is too short to forge a deep friendship. I tried to talk to him, walk close to him during the trip, hope I wasn't too obvious. When he commented that I looked good in the red hat, I really don't know how to respond to him. I haven't met a guy like him, someone who likes to laugh and smile, who can make me laugh and smile, make me want to take initiative to talk to, who likes to take photo and so good looking for a long time. If only our education status and life experience aren't this different. But things do happen for a reason, because of him, I have officially cleaned off my feelings for the online friend and be more open towards relationship. It doesn't matter if the guy is younger than me, its the experience that he has that determines his maturity level I guess. He is a gentleman, little actions like pulling the table towards him so that I have more space, telling my friend that he should have let me go first at the passport check point, exchanging ramen with my friend because she cannot take spicy stuff, all these little things make a guy who is younger than us by a year a gentleman and a attractive one. I was glad on the plane back as he was sitting a seat away from me, and we had a conversation, like about what the pilot said. We seem to have the same frequency for humour and laugh at the same things. The pilot was saying that the weather in singapore was pretty nice and we laughed as we thought he was going to say that it was raining in singapore. I sent a personal wats app message to him when we came back and he replied such a long message back. I was very surprised and happy. Argh, hope that we will get to see each other again and become great friends. You know, I am kind of worried about his future and want to tell him about this, that he should start planning for his future. He can't continue spending all his money, when he is only working as a part-timer at Garrett Popcorn shop. He is going HK soon too and goes clubbing. As in yes, he is spending his own hard earned money. But with this, where can you go in the future? Not even a tertiary education certificate, zen me ban? I really hope that he will start thinking about these things when he enlist. 2 years should be long enough for him to think and plan his future. Argh, I really hope that we can become great friends.

Conclusion:
I had so much fun and laughter during the 3 days. Every moment was just spent laughing, spending money with no worries and the only trouble we had was, what to do, what to eat, time not enough. Hopefully my Europe trip will be like this or even better!

Hi S! Yep i sure did enjoyed myself even though it was only 3 days. I hope you had fun too? It's been nice getting to know you too thru this trip. To more trips in the future! Not forgetting have a pleasant trip to Europe, don't smoke weed until cannot stop laughing, later really hyperventilate must go hospital haha. Have a good rest and see you soon. Goodnight ^^

I am so upset. I don't know what I am feeling. I want to cry. I don't want to be in singapore. Can I be in BKK now? I want to look forward to seeing his hair, his dressing style, his ear studs. Just when I found someone else to replace the jerk, its impossible again.

I don't know why, but it seems that relationship is always going against me. If only crying can help.

Tonight will be another tearful night.

Will I get to see you again?

I am tired. Tired of this kind of thing. My ears are sharp. I can hear stuff. If you don't want to go, then don't go. I didn't force you all right? So now its my fault?! My fault that it rained? I am disappointed. Friends? We are friends and yet you all still don't know my character? We are friends and yet we gossip about each other? I am tired. Kind of regret coming for this trip, if not I would have money for this month. Sigh.

Why is it so hard for me to make guy friends? So hard to start a conversation with someone? How come he starts a convo with her but not me? Why is it that I have to think of something to talk about and not the other way round? I am so tired of all this shit. Like really, I think I might suffocate to death one day because of this. Why do I have to be the one? I am upset, worried and depressed. Can't I experience being loved by someone? Why of all people, me? I am really tired.

Dear future boyfriend,

I have been waiting for you for a very long time. Are you waiting for my appearance too? Right now, I am super worried about your existence. I am afraid that you won't appear.

I really can't wait to show you off to my friends, text you everyday and have you in my dreams and thoughts every, single moment. I can't wait to take so many photos with you, ponder what to wear during dates and explore cafes and theme parks with you. I can't wait to hug you, kiss you and see that bright smile of yours whenever we meet. I can't wait to celebrate each others birthdays and give each other surprises. I can't wait to celebrate Valentine's day with you and prepare gifts for you. I really can't wait.

So, can you please appear? I don't know how much more patience I have before I break down. Can you please find me now?

Love

Your future girlfriend

Sometimes I feel that my friends in university don't understand me at all. Or is it because I don't want to and did not grow up since secondary school?

Every time when I tell them things like "Eh, this guy so cute", they will take it seriously and think that I should go forward and get to know him. When I say more than one guy being cute, they will not understand and feel that I am being not loyal or whatever. But the thing is, saying a guy cute does not mean anything, I just find him cute and not want to get into a relationship with him. Why don't they get it?

And another friend of mine got attached. Whatever la. Mine will come some day. Its not because I am not good, but for someone to tolerate my nonsense and for me to open up to someone, it takes time. This is most probably why this is the case. But is alright, I already have alot in life and I should be appreciative of all these. Love comes in different forms. Romantic love, I may not have experienced yet, but it will come some day. (:

Happy April Fools everyone!

I had a great laugh today and I hope everyone did too!

Anyway, its April already, and yes, it ended. There is nothing between the both of us and I wonder if he will really appear in tutorial this Thursday and what would happen if he came.

But I guess I really learn a lot from this. That people are no longer that innocent and naiive. There is no such thing as two people liking each other, love at first sight, and whatever stuff that happens in romance. Maybe they do, but if you are not that pretty or handsome, chances are, just continue dreaming. I think, it really takes effort from both parties to make a relationship happen. No point trying if the other is just waiting and not doing anything, hoping that things happen magically. I think timing also plays an important role. Like if the timing of both parties just doesn't fit, it just doesn't happen. So I do agree that fate plays a significant role in romance. HAHA.

And a very, very important message for everyone is, don't every just fall for someone who you think likes you. Be very sure that you like him not because you are desperate or that you THINK that person likes you. Because if this happens, then you will get really hurt when you find out that he do this to every girl or that he is no longer interested in you. You will feel demoralised and bad about yourself, wondering what happen and whether you have lost your attractiveness. NO, no one can ever put you down.

So message to every one out there finding their soul mate and to me as well, one day that person who loves you and who you love will appear. It may take quite a long time, but believe me, one day when you look back, you will feel that this wait is worth it. That person wouldn't make you hurt and cry for. He will be willing to sacrifice for you just like how you are willing to sacrifice for him. You don't have to pray for things to happen because the two of you seems to think so alike that you two just happen to do the same thing, appear at the place the same time. He will make sure you see him, notice him and yes, one day all this will happen to you.

So everyone, let's all have a little more confidence, a little more faith and a little more courage. We all deserve to be loved. Smile and have a great April! (:

When can I stop being a witness to someone else's moment?

Love? What's that?

When can I experience love?

Finding someone who you like and that same someone who likes you at the same time, is really so difficult. I really am jealous of people who can find their partners so easily.

Is it my turn yet?

U ARE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO TURNS UR BACK ON ME.

TODAY WHAT U DID REALLY PISS ME OFF BECAUSE WHAT I CANT STAND MOST ABOUT PEOPLE IS PEOPLE WHO DOES NOT REPLY TO MESSAGES. AND THE POINT THAT YOU READ THE MESSAGE WHICH IS CLEARLY A QUESTION, MAKES IT MUCH MUCH WORSE AND UNFORGIVABLE.

EVEN IF U REALLY DISLIKE ME, U COULD HAVE JUST END IT THERE WITH A YES OR A NO REPLY. THEN I WILL GET THE POINT BUT U CHOSE TO JUST IGNORE THAT QUESTION. IGNORING A GIRL IS NOT A GUY SHOULD DO, EVEN IF U DISLIKE HER. DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE BUSY BECAUSE I AM NOT BLIND AND I HAVE A BRAIN. A PERSON WHO IS BUSY WILL NOT GO TO FACEBOOK EVERY FEW HOURS. THE FACT THAT U READ THE MESSAGE AND CHOOSE NOT TO REPLY TRUELY MEASURES HOW IMPORTANT I AM TO U.

THAT IS, I AM NOT EVEN IMPORTANT TO YOU. I WAS SO NAIIVE. SO SO NAIIVE. IDIOT. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE. YOU ARE NOT EVEN TALL, DARK HANDSOME. WHAT WAS I DOING FOR THE PAST WEEKS, PAST SEMESTER??? WHAT A JOKE MAN.

NOW, THE GAME TURNS AROUND. LET'S SEE WHO WIN THIS GAME YA? JERK.

I have always been a rational person. From the start of the new year till now, however, I haven't been.

I think I have spent too much time and energy thinking about all possibilities that I myself aren't sure can happen.

You could be treating me as a friend, maybe an eye candy, maybe a crush, maybe observing and seeing if I am the one for you. But, I am already so tired, been someone who tends to over-think about issues.

It has been around 8 months. Sometimes I think, if you really feel the same about me, our relationship would not still be so stagnant. We are like waiting for chances to occur naturally and I had to make wishes that chances can happen between us when I am a statistics students who know about probability and chances more than anyone else.

Therefore, this morning, I have made a decision. I will only wait till the end of this March. If there are progress between the two of us, by progress I mean wats-apping each other/fb msg each other almost everyday/we going out together/going home frequency becomes often/something along this line, then I will continue to wait. If not, I need to carry on with my life and stop dwelling my emotions onto you.

Yup, this is a promise I made to myself and we shall see till then.

You don't even have my number. You know, instagram and facebook are still so not real.

Went to a Secondary School's friend birthday party yesterday. As much as I do not want to admit, we are all grown ups now. All of us are leading different lives and there are so much years of catch ups to do because what each of us have gone through is so different. The last time I saw some of them was like 4 years ago? 4 years, all of us seem so different. However, I am glad that there still lives a kid in all of us. It is amazing how all of us still remember things that happened in class 4 years ago and laugh about those stuff when that part of our memory is triggered.

We all seem different but similar to the 16 year old us 4 to 5 years ago. Some people are still as childish., some still as funny, some still as attractive. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but it felt that I suddenly travelled down the time machine and went back to the days when I was still a 16 year old kid.

Back then, I was the innocent kid who can't wait to grow up and be 18. To me, then, I believed that everything magical will happen when I am 18. I will become pretty, have a handsome and cute boyfriend, become a singer-actress and become the kind of girl who every girl aspires to become. That was my dream and wish then. I thought that love is magical and that the person you like can feel and sense it. That person will magically like you back and romantically, the two of us will live happily ever after. Even if things don't work out, I believe that we will still become best friends after that. I wanted to get married at 23 and become a housewife, waiting for my husband home everyday. While he is at work, I will go shopping, dancing and meet up with my friends. I don't want to have kids as I want to enjoy the lives of 2 lovey dovey beings. That was my picture of my future then. Now that I am 21, I suddenly got hit so hard by reality.

Was it because I always painted my future so idealistically that made me hurt so much when reality hits? I am 21, still a student, not a singer actress and I actually already give up on this dream career of mine. My looks, perhaps slightly above average when I dress up, occasionally, guys may look at me, but that's it, there won't be a after that response towards me. I am 2 years away from my ideal marriage age but I don't have a boyfriend. Now, I realise that both parties need to put in effort in order for a relationship to happen. No point if there is only one person trying. I think it is really amazing how 2 people can get together because it requires both to make effort each time, not just one receiving and the other contributing. Courage, this plays such a great part in it. I still imagine my marriage life to be that of what I imagined when I was 16. I hope that could really happen.

Perhaps things just get postponed but will still happen eventually?

I like you.

Can we get together?

Every single day I am thinking of our possibilities. Will I die thinking and crying over this everyday?

Did you see me when you opened the door yesterday? Did you hear me saying HI? Or did you pretend not to see me?

I have 50 likes on facebook for my profile picture, but I am not that happy because those 50 likes does not include you. Why have you stopped liking my photos?

Are those comments on that instagram photo real? Who is that girl that you went to sushi bar with and board the train with? Do you like her?

These questions, I really wish I have the right to ask you.

Can we go home again this Thurday? Or can we go home together every day?

Can we be more than just friends?

I had an awesome 21st birthday celebration yesterday.

To you:

I saw you walking with another girl yesterday. And that instagram comment your friends left. Thanks uh, make my heart ache so much. Why did you approach me in the first place, and why did my heart grew fond to you. Ouch, it hurts.

You saw my instagram photo and liked it. You know its my birthday today, I am waiting for your birthday wish. If you didn't leave one, I know where I stand in your world, in your heart. If you really didn't, I guess I am not even a friend to you and I would give up.

You have approximately 15 more hours.

Will you wish me Happy Birthday tomorrow?

I really wish I have the superpower of being able to read minds. Because if I have that ability, I would be able to know whether or not you like me or at least know what you think of me.

What will we be? I am so curious. Are you curious about how I feel too?

There is nothing to be upset about. It's just a birthday, alright. It's not that they forgot your birthday, it's just that they are too busy and your birthday doesn't fit their schedules. There are still many more birthdays to celebrate. Other friends are also helping you celebrate right? So its really alright. 21 is important because it is deemed important by majority of the people. But you can make 22 important instead right? Who says you need to conform to the norm? Tomorrow is your birthday so be happy so that you will be pretty tomorrow alright!

Skarlet, Happy Birthday in advance! (:

This is the very first Valentine's Day that I actually received flowers. Ok, so now I know what its like to receive flowers! Really thankful to have friends who truly treat me as a friend and appreciate me for who I am. I always think I am lucky to have friends who are so caring and patient and tolerant to my mood swings and temper. I am definitely not a easy girl to be with. Really grateful to have them in my life. It is because of them that I feel less lonely and feel that there is more in life than just love and relationships. Today, I truly realised how happiness is a choice.

So this year's Valentine's Day has been a wonderful one for me although I didn't go out on a date. I hope everyone had a wonderful one today. Once again, Happy Valentine's Day! (:

One shouldn't be so greedy. I think I am happy enough to be able to walk to the train station with u like this every thursday. My face was hot and red, and i actually can't believe it. Thank you for making me feel what it is like to be like a little girl, falling in love again because I can't remember the last time I felt this way. Let's see what fate brings us from this alright. (:

Everyone, this year, I may not have a valentine, but I feel truly loved. May everyone, no matter you are attached or not, have a very happy valentine's day tomorrow alright! Its a festival, so even if you are single, spend it with ur family and friends!

Once again, Happy Valentine's Day! (:

I look out in the crowd, hoping to see you. When was the last time i felt this way? I look at the photos, quotes you liked, and wonder if you are referring to me. I think I like you. Can you like me too? Tmr, can we, again? 😔😔😔 will u be my valentine?

I am afraid I am slowly liking you. Can you feel the same way too? Or do you? Can we go out this Friday. I wish I am a guy suddenly so that I can ask you out instead. Sigh...can we go home again together this thursday?

Questions, questions, questions...

To all who remember and makes an effort to do something. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

Feel so loved and touched when I received just that whats app message. I don't really care if the surprise is really a total surprise. It is the thought that counts. The thought that your friends actually wants to do something special for you and ask your opinion for it. The thought that they want to make you feel special and celebrate it even though you are not having a party.

Thank you all so much. <3333

Looking forward to seeing you all next mon! (:

The next time we meet will be CY"s birthday party? You actually said that while disregarding my presence? You know what is the worst feeling one can get? It"s the feeling that people remembers that this festival is important to you but makes no effort to help you celebrate it. So, No one is going to make an effort to help me celebrate because I am not having a party and that all of your are busy? Are your still my friends. Am I that insignificant to all of you? This is really so upsetting.

Today during steamboat, my friend still told me that Monday is my birthday, but no attempts has been made to ask me out. I am really so so so upset.

Who are the ones who will remember? I really wonder. I am afraid of the arrival of 17 February because I can already sense the disappointment that I am going to experience.

Expectations vs Reality. ):

Valentine's Day is coming in 5 days time. My birthday is coming in 8 days time.

Valentine's day=No Date
21st Birthday=No Date

Sigh, I really wonder who remembers my birthday. My university friends just remembers that there is a midterms test that day and I doubt they will think of what celebrations to do for me. My JC friends? Think they are too busy to celebrate for me. My secondary school friends? Think it would be a miracle for them to remember my birthday. I think so far, they only remembered 2 of my birthdays.

I don't know how to express how upset I am. As in it is my 21st birthday. 21st is suppose to be a really big thing? Like, lots of people will have a party and make themselves feel like the king or queen or prince or princess that day. I am already not going to have a birthday party, but now that no one even officially ask me out or make plans for my birthday, I feel alone again.

I have tried to drop hints but if you don't remember, no matter how obvious my hints are, they won't get across to you. Disappointment is like the norm now. I shall see what happens that day. If really no one asks me out, then it would be just me and my selfie again. And I won't know how I will respond to all of you from that day onwards. Am I asking too much if what I want is for your to ask me out for a meal, at least.? To make me feel that I am at least important to some of your? ):

Something magical did happen yesterday.

Thank you.

You know, I really want to talk to you and have a real conversation at least once. Can we be more courageous tomorrow. Can we, please?

May something magical happen between us tomorrow.

Love is...?

Being single for 20 going 21 years of my life, I really want to know what being in love is like. Its not that I choose to be single, its just, I don't understand why too. But, no guys I met in my life sincerely confess to me and tell me straight in the face that they like me. Seeing my friends getting attached, acting lovey dovey in front of you, taking sweet photos with their beloved partners, I can't help but get jealous. What can I do?

Friends try to comfort me and say that this is all happening because the right person isn't here yet. However, isn't all these getting too long? Every, single day, I look into the mirror and stare at myself. I don't know what is wrong with me. As in, I am not very very pretty, but I am not ugly. I am not that average looking when I dress up. My character? I am not rebellious or have those bad traits as well. But why is it not happening to me?

Guys who might seem interested just leave some ambiguous replies on facebook or twitter or facebook message me. This is real bad. I am starting to post more stuff like photos on facebook, twitter and instagram to garner his attention. I get really confused by guys like these, especially YOU, shall name it as Z. We talk on facebook but in real life, we actually avoid each other. Can't we just start talking to each other and be friends at least? I don't want to just be online friends with you because I feel that that is not REAL at all. I am really tired of waiting every single lecture, thinking and hoping that we will have eye contact and say Hi to each other. Just a HI will make me feel that there is slight progress of us being friends at least. I always believe that people will do all sorts of things to get the thing that they want badly. I guess perhaps I am not one of these things because if that's the case, then you would have proceed to do things more than just messaging. We don't even have each other's number to say the least. Sometimes I really hate you for starting the conversation with me. I really hate myself too for saying Hi to you that fateful day and then initiated talking to you that fine day.

I am not desperate. I just want to feel being wanted by someone, to worry about someone, get jealous over his actions, act like a baby in front of him, be the most important person to someone's life. I want to take lovey dovey photos, go on dates, show off about him in front of my friends too. But why are these not happening? )))); Found this on tumbr, and yes, this is how I feel all the time.