Monday, May 26, 2014

Why do I feel that the whole world doesn't understand me?

I am crying terribly now, but I don't know who to talk to.

You know what I hate most in this world now? Money.

I must earn lots of them in the future, so that I don't have to be like this ever again,

I wonder, whether going Europe is the right choice. And I hate myself thinking this way.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Before I forgot about how much fun and laughter I had during my BKK trip, I guess it is mandatory that I write all of these down!

Day 1: Delayed train flight
Our plane was suppose to depart at 5.35pm and arrive at bangkok at 6.55pm. It was already considered late and we wouldn't be able to do much on the first day already. However, the train was delayed that day. Reason? The emergency door was spoilt. There was like a big commotion at the boarding area because the staff seem inexperienced and don't know how to handle the situation. We just left our contact number and went for dinner at Macs. We were supposed to disembarked the plane and left at only 8pm. By the time we arrived at the airport, bought the sim cards, settled down at the hotel, it was already 10 plus. It really kind of dampened our mood. So for the first day, we only went to some place near our hotel, Centerpoint Pratunum to have supper. We had chicken rice that night which was okay. But my first impression of Bankgkok is really polite and friendly people. Everywhere we go, the staff are so friendly and have excellent service. So this is our first day. Wanted to go clubbing with D and N but then, I was again afraid at the last moment. Just when can I have the courage?! Argh, but anyway, they didn't get to go into the club too as N was considered to be underage since he is born in december. End of day 1 and I was super excited about the second day!

Day 2: Chatuchak Market, Dalat Rot Fai, Failed Siam market
We had breakfast at this place which I have no idea what the place is but it was quite nice. And I love the iced tea in bangkok! Its sweet milk tea, so nice. HAHA. Then off to our first shopping stop, Chatuchak Market! The train was somewhat like Singapore's mrt and the moment we take out our phones to take photo, the whole train looked at us. But whatever, tourists are like this. HAHA. Chatuchak was super super hot! But I had a great time shopping! The things are sold at wholesale price. Warning: Don't buy things out of impulse! I bought a T-shirt that I totally regret but oh well, it is still cheaper than Singapore, so...HAHA. The coconut ice-cream was so delicious! Then went to Delat Rot Fai, which I think is a new hangout place for youngster. However, I don't find it a nice place to shop, I only bought a pencil box there. HAHA. Then, since it was the last night that we will be BKK, I didn't want to go back to the hotel. Some of my friends are tired and wanted to go back but I don't want so we went to siam market. NA LI ZHI DAO. It rained when we went to siam market. SIGH...then they gossiped about me behind my back though I heard it. I was a bit unhappy. Went back to the hotel and had some form of HTHT talk with my roomie because I think she felt guilty for saying those mean things. Ya, so this was the second day!

Day 3: Platinum Mall
So many of my friends had told me about this wonderful heaven for shopping. I was so excited for this place. For people who are going bangkok, I would recommend going to platinum mall first because I feel that the things sold there are nicer and of better quality. I wasn't left with much money when I went there and couldn't buy alot of stuff that I liked! But the dresses I bought there were very cute! Love them! Had Shibuya toast with ice-cream at after you cafe at siam paragon. IT WAS DELICIOUS. I swear I felt that I was in heaven when I had the first mouth. I wasn't expecting too much, perhaps just some normal toast with ice-cream. But I was so wrong! The toast had butter after taste, and topping it with ice-cream just well-packaged the whole dessert. I am definitely visiting this place again if I were to visit BKK again! After that went back to the hotel to check out and then board the plane to go back to Singapore.

After thoughts:
I couldn't explain how upset I was when I needed to come back to Singapore. 3 days was definitely too short. I would definitely go there for 5 days the next time I visit the place. Perhaps when I go out to work next time, I would allocate $500 for travelling to BKK every year. It was not just the shopping, but the people there. They were all so friendly and I feel that I am rich there. LOL.

I really wanted to make friends with N during the trip. But well, I think 3 days is too short to forge a deep friendship. I tried to talk to him, walk close to him during the trip, hope I wasn't too obvious. When he commented that I looked good in the red hat, I really don't know how to respond to him. I haven't met a guy like him, someone who likes to laugh and smile, who can make me laugh and smile, make me want to take initiative to talk to, who likes to take photo and so good looking for a long time. If only our education status and life experience aren't this different. But things do happen for a reason, because of him, I have officially cleaned off my feelings for the online friend and be more open towards relationship. It doesn't matter if the guy is younger than me, its the experience that he has that determines his maturity level I guess. He is a gentleman, little actions like pulling the table towards him so that I have more space, telling my friend that he should have let me go first at the passport check point, exchanging ramen with my friend because she cannot take spicy stuff, all these little things make a guy who is younger than us by a year a gentleman and a attractive one. I was glad on the plane back as he was sitting a seat away from me, and we had a conversation, like about what the pilot said. We seem to have the same frequency for humour and laugh at the same things. The pilot was saying that the weather in singapore was pretty nice and we laughed as we thought he was going to say that it was raining in singapore. I sent a personal wats app message to him when we came back and he replied such a long message back. I was very surprised and happy. Argh, hope that we will get to see each other again and become great friends. You know, I am kind of worried about his future and want to tell him about this, that he should start planning for his future. He can't continue spending all his money, when he is only working as a part-timer at Garrett Popcorn shop. He is going HK soon too and goes clubbing. As in yes, he is spending his own hard earned money. But with this, where can you go in the future? Not even a tertiary education certificate, zen me ban? I really hope that he will start thinking about these things when he enlist. 2 years should be long enough for him to think and plan his future. Argh, I really hope that we can become great friends.

Conclusion:
I had so much fun and laughter during the 3 days. Every moment was just spent laughing, spending money with no worries and the only trouble we had was, what to do, what to eat, time not enough. Hopefully my Europe trip will be like this or even better!

Hi S! Yep i sure did enjoyed myself even though it was only 3 days. I hope you had fun too? It's been nice getting to know you too thru this trip. To more trips in the future! Not forgetting have a pleasant trip to Europe, don't smoke weed until cannot stop laughing, later really hyperventilate must go hospital haha. Have a good rest and see you soon. Goodnight ^^

Monday, May 12, 2014

I am so upset. I don't know what I am feeling. I want to cry. I don't want to be in singapore. Can I be in BKK now? I want to look forward to seeing his hair, his dressing style, his ear studs. Just when I found someone else to replace the jerk, its impossible again.

I don't know why, but it seems that relationship is always going against me. If only crying can help.

Tonight will be another tearful night.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

Saturday, May 10, 2014

I am tired. Tired of this kind of thing. My ears are sharp. I can hear stuff. If you don't want to go, then don't go. I didn't force you all right? So now its my fault?! My fault that it rained? I am disappointed. Friends? We are friends and yet you all still don't know my character? We are friends and yet we gossip about each other? I am tired. Kind of regret coming for this trip, if not I would have money for this month. Sigh.

Why is it so hard for me to make guy friends? So hard to start a conversation with someone? How come he starts a convo with her but not me? Why is it that I have to think of something to talk about and not the other way round? I am so tired of all this shit. Like really, I think I might suffocate to death one day because of this. Why do I have to be the one? I am upset, worried and depressed. Can't I experience being loved by someone? Why of all people, me? I am really tired.