Went to a Secondary School's friend birthday party yesterday. As much as I do not want to admit, we are all grown ups now. All of us are leading different lives and there are so much years of catch ups to do because what each of us have gone through is so different. The last time I saw some of them was like 4 years ago? 4 years, all of us seem so different. However, I am glad that there still lives a kid in all of us. It is amazing how all of us still remember things that happened in class 4 years ago and laugh about those stuff when that part of our memory is triggered.

We all seem different but similar to the 16 year old us 4 to 5 years ago. Some people are still as childish., some still as funny, some still as attractive. I don't know how to describe the feeling, but it felt that I suddenly travelled down the time machine and went back to the days when I was still a 16 year old kid.

Back then, I was the innocent kid who can't wait to grow up and be 18. To me, then, I believed that everything magical will happen when I am 18. I will become pretty, have a handsome and cute boyfriend, become a singer-actress and become the kind of girl who every girl aspires to become. That was my dream and wish then. I thought that love is magical and that the person you like can feel and sense it. That person will magically like you back and romantically, the two of us will live happily ever after. Even if things don't work out, I believe that we will still become best friends after that. I wanted to get married at 23 and become a housewife, waiting for my husband home everyday. While he is at work, I will go shopping, dancing and meet up with my friends. I don't want to have kids as I want to enjoy the lives of 2 lovey dovey beings. That was my picture of my future then. Now that I am 21, I suddenly got hit so hard by reality.

Was it because I always painted my future so idealistically that made me hurt so much when reality hits? I am 21, still a student, not a singer actress and I actually already give up on this dream career of mine. My looks, perhaps slightly above average when I dress up, occasionally, guys may look at me, but that's it, there won't be a after that response towards me. I am 2 years away from my ideal marriage age but I don't have a boyfriend. Now, I realise that both parties need to put in effort in order for a relationship to happen. No point if there is only one person trying. I think it is really amazing how 2 people can get together because it requires both to make effort each time, not just one receiving and the other contributing. Courage, this plays such a great part in it. I still imagine my marriage life to be that of what I imagined when I was 16. I hope that could really happen.

Perhaps things just get postponed but will still happen eventually?

I like you.

Can we get together?

Every single day I am thinking of our possibilities. Will I die thinking and crying over this everyday?

Did you see me when you opened the door yesterday? Did you hear me saying HI? Or did you pretend not to see me?

I have 50 likes on facebook for my profile picture, but I am not that happy because those 50 likes does not include you. Why have you stopped liking my photos?

Are those comments on that instagram photo real? Who is that girl that you went to sushi bar with and board the train with? Do you like her?

These questions, I really wish I have the right to ask you.

Can we go home again this Thurday? Or can we go home together every day?

Can we be more than just friends?

I had an awesome 21st birthday celebration yesterday.

To you:

I saw you walking with another girl yesterday. And that instagram comment your friends left. Thanks uh, make my heart ache so much. Why did you approach me in the first place, and why did my heart grew fond to you. Ouch, it hurts.

You saw my instagram photo and liked it. You know its my birthday today, I am waiting for your birthday wish. If you didn't leave one, I know where I stand in your world, in your heart. If you really didn't, I guess I am not even a friend to you and I would give up.

You have approximately 15 more hours.

Will you wish me Happy Birthday tomorrow?

I really wish I have the superpower of being able to read minds. Because if I have that ability, I would be able to know whether or not you like me or at least know what you think of me.

What will we be? I am so curious. Are you curious about how I feel too?

There is nothing to be upset about. It's just a birthday, alright. It's not that they forgot your birthday, it's just that they are too busy and your birthday doesn't fit their schedules. There are still many more birthdays to celebrate. Other friends are also helping you celebrate right? So its really alright. 21 is important because it is deemed important by majority of the people. But you can make 22 important instead right? Who says you need to conform to the norm? Tomorrow is your birthday so be happy so that you will be pretty tomorrow alright!

Skarlet, Happy Birthday in advance! (:

This is the very first Valentine's Day that I actually received flowers. Ok, so now I know what its like to receive flowers! Really thankful to have friends who truly treat me as a friend and appreciate me for who I am. I always think I am lucky to have friends who are so caring and patient and tolerant to my mood swings and temper. I am definitely not a easy girl to be with. Really grateful to have them in my life. It is because of them that I feel less lonely and feel that there is more in life than just love and relationships. Today, I truly realised how happiness is a choice.

So this year's Valentine's Day has been a wonderful one for me although I didn't go out on a date. I hope everyone had a wonderful one today. Once again, Happy Valentine's Day! (:

One shouldn't be so greedy. I think I am happy enough to be able to walk to the train station with u like this every thursday. My face was hot and red, and i actually can't believe it. Thank you for making me feel what it is like to be like a little girl, falling in love again because I can't remember the last time I felt this way. Let's see what fate brings us from this alright. (:

Everyone, this year, I may not have a valentine, but I feel truly loved. May everyone, no matter you are attached or not, have a very happy valentine's day tomorrow alright! Its a festival, so even if you are single, spend it with ur family and friends!

Once again, Happy Valentine's Day! (:

I look out in the crowd, hoping to see you. When was the last time i felt this way? I look at the photos, quotes you liked, and wonder if you are referring to me. I think I like you. Can you like me too? Tmr, can we, again? 😔😔😔 will u be my valentine?

I am afraid I am slowly liking you. Can you feel the same way too? Or do you? Can we go out this Friday. I wish I am a guy suddenly so that I can ask you out instead. Sigh...can we go home again together this thursday?

Questions, questions, questions...

To all who remember and makes an effort to do something. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH.

Feel so loved and touched when I received just that whats app message. I don't really care if the surprise is really a total surprise. It is the thought that counts. The thought that your friends actually wants to do something special for you and ask your opinion for it. The thought that they want to make you feel special and celebrate it even though you are not having a party.

Thank you all so much. <3333

Looking forward to seeing you all next mon! (:

The next time we meet will be CY"s birthday party? You actually said that while disregarding my presence? You know what is the worst feeling one can get? It"s the feeling that people remembers that this festival is important to you but makes no effort to help you celebrate it. So, No one is going to make an effort to help me celebrate because I am not having a party and that all of your are busy? Are your still my friends. Am I that insignificant to all of you? This is really so upsetting.

Today during steamboat, my friend still told me that Monday is my birthday, but no attempts has been made to ask me out. I am really so so so upset.

Who are the ones who will remember? I really wonder. I am afraid of the arrival of 17 February because I can already sense the disappointment that I am going to experience.

Expectations vs Reality. ):

Valentine's Day is coming in 5 days time. My birthday is coming in 8 days time.

Valentine's day=No Date
21st Birthday=No Date

Sigh, I really wonder who remembers my birthday. My university friends just remembers that there is a midterms test that day and I doubt they will think of what celebrations to do for me. My JC friends? Think they are too busy to celebrate for me. My secondary school friends? Think it would be a miracle for them to remember my birthday. I think so far, they only remembered 2 of my birthdays.

I don't know how to express how upset I am. As in it is my 21st birthday. 21st is suppose to be a really big thing? Like, lots of people will have a party and make themselves feel like the king or queen or prince or princess that day. I am already not going to have a birthday party, but now that no one even officially ask me out or make plans for my birthday, I feel alone again.

I have tried to drop hints but if you don't remember, no matter how obvious my hints are, they won't get across to you. Disappointment is like the norm now. I shall see what happens that day. If really no one asks me out, then it would be just me and my selfie again. And I won't know how I will respond to all of you from that day onwards. Am I asking too much if what I want is for your to ask me out for a meal, at least.? To make me feel that I am at least important to some of your? ):

Something magical did happen yesterday.

Thank you.

You know, I really want to talk to you and have a real conversation at least once. Can we be more courageous tomorrow. Can we, please?

May something magical happen between us tomorrow.

Love is...?

Being single for 20 going 21 years of my life, I really want to know what being in love is like. Its not that I choose to be single, its just, I don't understand why too. But, no guys I met in my life sincerely confess to me and tell me straight in the face that they like me. Seeing my friends getting attached, acting lovey dovey in front of you, taking sweet photos with their beloved partners, I can't help but get jealous. What can I do?

Friends try to comfort me and say that this is all happening because the right person isn't here yet. However, isn't all these getting too long? Every, single day, I look into the mirror and stare at myself. I don't know what is wrong with me. As in, I am not very very pretty, but I am not ugly. I am not that average looking when I dress up. My character? I am not rebellious or have those bad traits as well. But why is it not happening to me?

Guys who might seem interested just leave some ambiguous replies on facebook or twitter or facebook message me. This is real bad. I am starting to post more stuff like photos on facebook, twitter and instagram to garner his attention. I get really confused by guys like these, especially YOU, shall name it as Z. We talk on facebook but in real life, we actually avoid each other. Can't we just start talking to each other and be friends at least? I don't want to just be online friends with you because I feel that that is not REAL at all. I am really tired of waiting every single lecture, thinking and hoping that we will have eye contact and say Hi to each other. Just a HI will make me feel that there is slight progress of us being friends at least. I always believe that people will do all sorts of things to get the thing that they want badly. I guess perhaps I am not one of these things because if that's the case, then you would have proceed to do things more than just messaging. We don't even have each other's number to say the least. Sometimes I really hate you for starting the conversation with me. I really hate myself too for saying Hi to you that fateful day and then initiated talking to you that fine day.

I am not desperate. I just want to feel being wanted by someone, to worry about someone, get jealous over his actions, act like a baby in front of him, be the most important person to someone's life. I want to take lovey dovey photos, go on dates, show off about him in front of my friends too. But why are these not happening? )))); Found this on tumbr, and yes, this is how I feel all the time.